His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
