Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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