that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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