and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
it's like heaven, but drunker
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
