So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
