dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Randomize
