I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize