Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
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