How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
