hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
