Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
