yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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