please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
