Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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