come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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