Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
i need some magic done to my vagina
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
