Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
