What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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