Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
be right there i have to get my cape
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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