she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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