dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
