i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
