we have officially lost it.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
