are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
