You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
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