so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
