4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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