whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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