4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
