She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You took a bar mat shot.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
