I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
