I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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