butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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