I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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