Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
