I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
