The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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