Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
