3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Randomize
