Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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