it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Little spoons don't ask big questions
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
