You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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