Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
