Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
