Yo dont text me then not text me
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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