I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
