Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
