Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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