fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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