His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
