I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I will die if light touches me.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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