Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Randomize
