I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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