"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
