Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
