did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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