why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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