Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Those nachos came to me in a dream
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
