if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Randomize
