Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
